What You Need to Know About the Coaching Experience
This article is designed to help you understand the nature of coaching as distinct from other one-on-one help modalities, and how to get the most from working with a coach – in this case, Partnering for Performance.
What is Coaching?
The coaching relationship is a partnership – an equal relationship – allowing you room to move even while being accountable, so that you can achieve the kind of life and work that you envision and to achieve the goals that you like to meet.
What is My Responsibility?
- To clarify and encourage you to set the goals that you really want.
- To ask you to do more than you would probably do on your own.
- To help you to focus more sharply, thus producing results more quickly.
- To provide you with the tools, support and structure to accomplish more.
How is Coaching Different from Counseling or Consulting?
Coaching is neither counseling, which means to advise, nor therapy, which tends to focus on the past and look at issues historically; nor is it consulting, which generally involves coming up with expert opinions and answers. However, coaching does use techniques derived from all three.
You will find coaching to be more action-based and solution-oriented, and that it focuses on both the present and the future. The “answers” that you seek come about through the work done in our joint coaching partnership.
What is My Process for Coaching Clients?
As your coach, I will ask questions, encourage, advise, challenge, make requests and listen for your “essence” so that you are consistent with who you are in terms of your goals, your values and your vision. My full attention will center on you, what you want and how you can best get it.
However, both of us design our unique coaching relationship, and each of us may refine it in the giving and receiving of feedback. Although I am committed to the process, it is your personal responsibility to take action or not take action, as you see fit.
- I Expect Your Best
You achieve your best results when you are ready to both do and be the best that you can. It is about stepping up to the challenge and giving it your best shot. If I sense you may not be giving it your best, it is my job to bring that to your attention so we can work out what you really want to do. - Make Specific Requests
As the need arises, I will make direct requests such as, “Could you see yourself accomplishing X within the next two weeks?” You could meet the request (“Yes, I can do that”), provide an alternative option (“I can’t do X, but I can do Y”), or perhaps you might decline altogether (which rarely happens). Whichever way you respond, I will support your action. - I Give Advice
On occasion, if I have real confidence in a particular direction and you are open to it, I will make specific suggestions on how to handle a problem or an issue or make the most of an opportunity. However, you will need to use your own discretion and judgment. - I Am Open
If I hear hesitation or reluctance in your voice, or notice an inconsistency in the actions you choose, I will generally ask you about it. Often just such moments provide the opportunity to resolve something. Conversely, I will not confront you. It is my job to only highlight the issue, and then give you the room to do with it what you will. - I Set Homework
Typically, I ask you to work on two or three goals or actions to focus on between our sessions together. If I am pushing you too hard, then it is important for you to say so. If you want to be pushed harder, it is equally important for you to say that.
How to Get the Most from Coaching
Give yourself an imperative to benefit significantly from our coaching sessions as well as from the time in between. Outlined below are some of the things that you can do to maximize the value of your coaching experience.
- Focus on What You Really Want
Coaching works best when you establish clear goals that are based on what you truly want to achieve. Firstly, it is important for you to meditate on and define what you want your work and your life to look like. Secondly, it is important to identify the gaps between the way things are now and how you would like them to be. - Understand that You Will Evolve
You will grow and develop by working with an empathic and professional coach. Most clients take on a coach to work on specific goals so much of their time and energy is directed towards this. However, the coaching relationship may also allow you to discover something deeper about yourself. Merely a natural consequence of the coaching process, you do not need to concentrate on it, but to just recognize that it is likely to occur. Hallmarks of effective coaching include accelerated personal and professional growth. - Increase Your Willingness to Step Up
Part of my responsibility centers on asking a lot of you. This is not meant to exhaust you or extend you beyond your bounds, but to simply ask more of you than perhaps you have asked of yourself. Be willing to experiment with fresh approaches and try new beliefs. I will encourage you to be honest with yourself, raise your personal standards and set higher goals. However, you are the best judge of what is right for you. Even so, the more you are willing to grow and develop, the greater will be the benefits from coaching. - Come Prepared to Each Coaching Session
To get the most value out of each coaching session, you may prepare an agenda for each one. Preparing your agenda does not have to be time-consuming, but experience shows that if you spend 10-15 minutes preparing, it has a significant impact on our session together. If we talk by phone for our session, you could email an agenda in advance. - Complete Your Homework
Following each session, you will decide on the actions or goals you want to focus on. I expect you to keep the commitments you make and will work with you to make sure that you are setting worthwhile, realistic and achievable goals. If you know that you have a busy week or two ahead, your homework might be as simple as thinking about a new perspective. If you have more time, you might decide to handle a bigger task. Nevertheless, I will hold you accountable and encourage you to do your best.